When you learn how to write memoirs, you learn how to become a good listener.

The common problem with listening is overactive participation. It is only natural to be reminded of your own stories and experiences as you listen to someone else. Even if you don’t blurt out your own story, you may take a mental vacation as you follow that memory and miss what your subject is saying. While this is natural, you need to develop the skill of actively listening to the subject.

Here are some tips on listening to an interviewee.

1. Prepare a list of questions about the story in advance. Use Remembers When Lesson 18 Worksheet, “Interview questions” to help prepare the list. You may never have to ask one of the questions, but listen for the answers. Make a mental note each time one of your questions is answered in the story.
2. Know your subject in advance. This is not merely a matter of acquaintance. You should already know the “historical” context of your subject as much as possible before you begin your interview. When were they born, where did they live, who were their family members?
3. Don’t interrupt unless the subject has strayed so far from the story that they can’t get back. Most people know their own stories and will return to the thread eventually. There are cases, however, when people lose track of what they were saying or become entangled in a web of memories that they can’t escape. Use the most gentle reminders and questions to steer them back to the path.
4. Ask open ended questions. The object in an interview is to have the subject talk. If you ask, “Was it love at first sight?” you might simply get the answer, “No.” Ask instead, “How did you first know you were in love?” Notice we didn’t use the word “when” in that question because that might also lead to a monosylabic answer.
5. Leave room to respond. Don’t rush your subject. If you ask a question and then follow it up immediately with another question – even a clarifying question – your subject may become confused, not knowing which question they are supposed to answer. Chances are they are simply searching for the right answer or memory. Give them time to get there.

There are many excellent resources regarding interviewing and listening skills, but perhaps the best advice is simply to remember that you are recording your subject’s story, not your own. Disengage your inner commentator and editor and become absorbed in the story you are hearing.

There are probably members of your family who tell meaningful stories who are not able or willing to write their own memoirs. The job may seem too big, the time too short, or they may simply not know where to start. Many of the people with great stories to tell are of a generation that didn’t quite catch the current wave of technology. These and many others may need you to give voice to their memoirs.

We are becoming more aware of memory debilitating diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s—perhaps in your own family. What a loss if the memories and stories of those people are lost to their children and grandchildren. Getting patients with these diseases to relate their experiences may actually help to mitigate the effects of the disease to some degree. And recording those reminiscences will preserve not only the memories, but the very character of the person for generations to come.

Finally, with careful planning and a few helpful hints, writing someone else’s memoirs can be a rewarding experience for the storyteller and for the writer. And anyone can do it. Teens may find a new connection with the family by taking on the task of writing Granddad’s memoirs. Stories that they’ve “heard a dozen times” take on new meaning when they listen and record them for posterity. It is a great way for aspiring writers to practice their craft with material that is waiting for their pens.

Use Remembers When Lesson 17 Worksheet, “Who needs my voice?” to list potential candidates for memoirs and write down why that person might need you to do the writing.

Learning how to write memoirs is a great personal accomplishment, but most of us actually write in order to share with others. Getting a book of memoirs published can take years, yet for most people there is little or no indication whether people will read them. Remembers When – a place to share your memoirs – provides a virtual location where you can post your memoirs as you finish each one, and get feedback and encouragement from your family and friends right away.

After your Remembers When memoir site was set up (see Lesson 14), you received instructions on how to post your stories and photos. If you are missing your instructions, they are included as Remembers When Lesson 16 Worksheet: “Posting your memoirs.”

If you have decided to publish your memoirs in a different way, say to a blog or personal Web site, the general instructions may still be helpful, though specific directions will depend on your Internet host. Here are some key points to consider when choosing your memoir host.

1. Fully develop each memoir before you post it as we’ve discussed in lessons 1-15. Don’t write “live” in a blog; that makes it too easy to end up writing a journal instead of writing memoirs.
2. Assign tags to each post so people can self-sort your unordered posts. Remember your “categories” from the tabs in your notebook. The advantage of tags is that a story might have multiple categories.
3. Be sure you can receive feedback from people who read your memoirs, but don’t let the feedback show in your posts. Your memoirs are intensely about you. Comment fields are easy to hijack and become someone else’s story. If possible, use an email address for feedback.
4. Keep your introduction post first and only show one story at a time. Readers simply won’t scroll through pages of content to get from story to story.
5. Tell people! Send all your friends an email with the URL of your memoirs. Post the information on any other forums you participate in, like Twitter, Facebook, your church, your civic club, and even your office. It is fun to have people read what you’ve written, but they have to know where to find it.

And, most important of all: Get started writing that next memoir. Don’t let your one story languish all by itself in cyberspace.

Your memoirs introduction should give us a glimpse of the person we will see in your stories, not just a list of facts. One way to begin is by addressing your memoirs to someone. Whom do you expect to read them? When you were writing your first memoir, did you imagine you were telling the story to someone? I started my introduction with the words:

Dear Buzz,
Yes, this is for you. You might not remember when Grandma Nigel died.

Even if you are writing to an imaginary audience (Friends, Romans, Countrymen) your readers will get the feeling that they are looking into something very personal to you. So continue with a statement about why you are writing a memoir. In the same paragraph as the address above, I stated:

But that was when I started thinking about the fact that there was so much that I hadn’t written down of the stories that my mom and dad told.

You can be as factual as you want, but keep it on a personal level.

Finally, put in a statement about why you decided to write your memoirs. Maybe you hope the world will be a better place by learning from your experiences, or perhaps it will just be so your children will understand you better or won’t forget you.

Use Remembers When Lesson 15 Worksheet: “Writing an intro” to capture the main points, and then write out your three paragraph introduction to your memoirs.

As a how to write memoirs participant, you qualify for a free Remembers When memoir account. When you complete the registration form, just put the letters HTWM in the “Special Offer Code” text box. Instead of paying $29.00 for your permanent account, you will receive it free.

After you have submitted your registration form, you will receive a confirmation email from Remembers When, usually within 24 hours. This will confirm your site name and, if necessary, ask for additional information. It will also tell you when your site will be available. You will receive a second email with your login and password and instructions for uploading your memoirs.

Check out the many memoirs and designs currently available at Remembers When, and the other services we offer, such as custom graphic and color themes, and editorial services. But even more important, after you have registered for your Remembers When memoir site, start writing that next memoir story!

Register your free Remembers When memoir account today at http://RemembersWhen.com.

When you have scanned and digitized your photos—or if you have photos from a digital camera—you are ready to select photos to use. It is important to choose your photos as carefully as you did your words. Don’t use every photo you have. Choose one or two (no more!) that truly enhance your story.

Your computer probably has some photo gallery software already installed that lets you view and edit digital photos. For most people, the simple editing functions such as scaling (resizing) and automatic color correction will be all that is necessary to produce good results.

If you’d like additional photo enhancements, there are several photo editing software packages, from basic to professional level. Such packages can remove unsightly backgrounds, sharpen fuzzy images, and even correct damage, such as cracks or tears on older photos. You can do as little or as much as you like, but we suggest using the services of a professional if you have extensive corrections to make.

Step 1: Always create and maintain a backup copy of your digital photos. Do not edit your only copy; you may need different editing settings or image resolution in the future.

Step 2: If necessary, use your photo editing software to make the desired corrections.

Step 3: Scale the photos proportionally so the largest dimension is no more than 600 pixels. This resolution is completely adequate for on-screen display.

Step 4: Save the image with a file name that matches the memoir title. If your memoir is named “WeddingDay.doc, ” then the two photos should be named “WeddingDay1.jpg” and “WeddingDay2.jpg.” Print them and put them into your notebook.

Step 5: In your word processor, create a new document with a matching file name, such as “WeddingDayPics.doc.” Write a title and brief description for both photos. For example, “Our Wedding Party,” with a description that includes names of people in the photo, location, and date. Print it and put into your notebook.

Your photos are now ready to use.

How to scan, from HP
Scanning tips from a user
Photo editing tips from HP

1. Create a directory (folder) on your computer in which to keep all your memoir documents. Be sure to name it in such a way that it is distinct and identifiable. A good choice is “YourNameMemoirs.”
2. If you are using Microsoft Word 2007 as your word processor, download this Remembers When Memoir Template and save it in the directory you created for your memoirs. For earlier versions and other word processors, use the RTF format version here. Each template contains instructions, so open the template and read the instructions before typing your first memoir.
3. Save the new memoir with a unique, recognizable name. Usually the title you have chosen for the memoir is adequate, but to make sure it is unique, you might want to progressively number the entries as well. For example: 1MyChildhoodHome.doc, 2HighSchoolProm.doc, etc.
4. Single space between sentences. Many people who learned keyboard entry on a typewriter were taught to put two spaces after periods and question marks. When working with a computer this is not necessary, and the results are more pleasing with a single space.
5. Leave a blank line between paragraphs. (Hit the Enter key twice.) While this is not normally advised when preparing manuscripts, the software used to post memoirs on-line is not smart enough (yet) to tell when you have started a new paragraph unless you leave a blank line.
6. Do not format anything in your text; do not use bold or italic styles. When uploading files for publication, the software strips out all special formatting like bold-face text and italics.
7. Save the file often as you are writing.

• If you have heard me tell the story before, what did I leave out that I usually say or that I should have said?
• What did I include in the story that made it confusing or wasn’t really relevant or interesting?
• At what points did it not sound like me telling a story to family and friends? Where did I lose my “voice?”
• What are some other experiences you know I’ve had that you think I should write about?

These four questions will generate positive feedback that will help you improve this and future memoirs. When you talk to the people who have read your memoir for you, listen carefully to what they think is interesting or noteworthy about your life. This can be a great source of inspiration to you.